Step Five: Project 'Love'

Ever felt that no matter how much you decide to motivate yourself, no matter how many cups of coffee you have, you just feel useless and disappointed in yourself? We’ve all been there. It definitely is one of those days.

COVID-19 is a tough time for all of us. It makes us feel demotivated, we easily ignore ourselves. It is essential that we look after ourselves during this time difficult period! This will help us unleash our truest potential at any time.

"Love you
Open heartedly, and feel the
Valiance through self-acceptance,
Everyday, all day."
Kate Surala

It is proven that women are more likely to struggle with a lack of self-love, which can greatly influence their mental health and self-esteem. By not believing in our own abilities, we might not treat ourselves with sufficient respect and fall into a patterned mindset of self-doubt.*

Self-love means investing time in your own happiness and our physical and mental wellbeing. In this Step, we will provide you with the tools to unleash your self-love and share it with others. That means to set your own boundaries for yourself and extend them to the environment you operate in. We discuss tips on how to start a new routine and learn the value of gratitude.

Turning negativity into your superpower

We’ve been in that position where we have applied to our dream university or dream job and got rejected. What do we do after that? We tend to scrutinise our actions, everything we said or did, every answer we gave during the selection process, our applications and everything else that we think could affect us negatively. We tend to create a negative bias for ourselves.

Negativity bias is our tendency to register negative stimuli more readily and to dwell on negative events, instead of focussing on the positives. Fortunately, optimism can be learned! Instead of obsessing over the negatives, try to focus on the positives. For example, think about how you managed to get to the last round in the hiring process.

Prevent the spiral of negativity in your head by nurturing your body, mind and soul on a regular basis. You cannot prevent negative thoughts but develop a strong immune system to block them before they impact your behaviour and actions.

Here are some mindfulness exercises that you can do. If you like them, our book, Unleash Today, provides you with many more exercises to achieve mindfulness:

  • Body scan meditation: Lie on your back with your arms and legs extended, palms facing up. Focus your attention slowly on each part of your body. Take note of the sensations, emotions or thoughts that you associate with every part of your body.

  • Pay attention: Take the time to experience your environment with all senses, engage in mindful seeing, listening, touching, tasting and smelling. E.g. for lunch, enjoy the smell, taste and sight of your food.

  • Focus on your breathing: Sit down and take a deep breath - exhale and inhale slowly - with your eyes closed. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body.

Overcoming your negativity: starting a journal

One particularly helpful tool to overcome your negativity bias is to keep a journal. When you write down your emotions and thoughts, you’ll be able to discover how you can challenge those that are holding you back. The ABC method is well known to help you keep check of your thoughts, emotions and actions. So what is it?

  • Activating events are situations that trigger a chain of thoughts and emotions inside you, which can be internal or external.

  • Belief includes your thoughts and feelings about the event and can be so subtle that you don’t notice them or are very intrusive.

  • Consequences are the results of your actions or feelings during the A and B stages.

Think back to the past few days. Can you apply the ABC method to an event that triggered negative emotions? Our book assists you in writing down your thoughts and emotions that will help you to identify the triggers that affected you negatively.

Live in the moment and appreciate your success

As human beings, we often feel overwhelmed about our future and think and plan about what to do next. This is natural, and completely okay, as long as you do not spoil your present for the future. This is why we’ve come up with a few daily steps to make every day count:

  • Be genuine and make small gestures of kindness to the people around you.

  • Make time for personal connections with people you might take for granted, regardless of who they are, even if you’re in a rush. This can also be done virtually.

  • Establish which aspects of your daily life are outside of your control. For instance, if you lose your job you cannot control the fact that you were laid off. What you can control is how you react to it. You can decide whether you take steps to find a new job as well as whether you take care of yourself through a nutritional diet and sufficient sleep. you want to learn more about how to master the art of networking?

We hope this advice will help you regain control of your emotions in your own hands. With the tips stated above, you can begin your journey of loving yourself right now! You can find many more tips in our book Unleash Today, to help you maximise your full potential. You can get your copy of the book in various Amazon shops around the world (e.g. UK, DE, FR).

Shivani Nair is Unleash Today's Content Strategist based in Ahmedabad, India.


*Gold A. (2016), Why self-esteem is important for mental health, National alliance on mental illness (,potentially%20dangerous%20way%20to%20live).

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